Bobby Jack Outlaw II

I love you boys!

Love, Mama

Buddy tonight is our Church Valentines Banquet. Oh how I wish you could be there. I'm going to miss you being there. It's just not the same without you. I'll go and I'll pretend to have a good time and then I'll come home and cry for you. I'm only going because I know you would want me to and to honor you and the memories I hold in my heart and mind of the ones past that you went to. Please at least let me feel you there in my heart. I love you B.J. and I miss you so much.

Love, Mama

Sweet boys we live for the day that we get to see and hold you both for the very first time. How we've missed out on so much all these years. We do love you and we always will.

Love, Mama and Daddy

Wayne and Buck, I just had to come and tell you thank you for the blessing you sent me tonight. When Dianne put the wrong year on your graphic over on the MO site you messed with her just like the kind of thing B.J. liked to do when he was still here. It let me see some of your personality...it let me know you both a little  better and for that I am so thankful. I've always longed to get to know you more and now I feel like I do. I've been blessed with a wonderful gift that I will never forget. I love you both so much just as I love B.J. and your other brother and sisters. Even if I didn't get to keep you here with me in the physical...you both have always been in my heart and there you will stay.

Love, Mama

Here's the email Dianne sent me...

Hello Cindy,

I left Buck and Wayne a tribute. After I hit submit I realized I put 1988 instead of 1986.
Imagine that! Well I corrected the graphic and have tried to redo the tribute. This is weird!
The one in my PhotoBucket has 1986 but every time I load it into a new tribute it shows 1988!
I have reloaded it again in PhotoBucket and tried refreshing with no luck. I've closed out of the
boys site and came back and still it's 1988! Would you mind going into edit and adding the corrected
one? Maybe it will work that way. I'm sorry!!!
Hugs,
Dianne
Well I looked at the one I had saved and yes the date was wrong so I saved the new one she sent me and loaded it into my PhotoBucket and went to change it out. When I got there the one she had put with the wrong date had the right date on it. It made me so happy. You boys were messing with her...just like something B.J. would have done! That means so much to me and blesses me in such a way there are no words to explain it. Like I told Dianne, I've always wondered what you would have been like and tonight I've been given such a special gift. Tonight I got to see a little of your personalities come through. There was no way that link could have changed like it did. I should have had to reload the new link. Like I said...I'm so blessed. I know my babies a little better...

Just that much closer to being with you forever!

Love, Mama

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B.J., it's been 5 long sad years without you and we miss you so much. We'll never stop loving you and we'll never stop missing you either.

Love forever and always, Mama & Daddy

Happy 21st Birthday to our beautiful little sister Kayla!

We love you!

Buddy, this makes me think of you. Oh how I hope my quilt will be so beautiful as yours is some day.

I love you, Mama

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As I faced my Maker at the last Judgment, I knelt before the Lord along with all the other souls.

Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each of us sewing our quilt squares together into a tapestry that is our life.

But as my angel took each piece of cloth off the pile, I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was. They were filled with Giant holes. Each square was labeled with a part of my life that had been difficult, the challenges and temptations I was faced with every day of my life. I saw hardships that I endured, which were the largest holes of all.

I glanced around me. Nobody else had such squares. Other than a tiny hole here and there, the other tapestries were filled with rich color and the bright hues of worldly fortune. I gazed upon my own life and was disheartened.

My angel was sewing the ragged pieces of cloth together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.

Finally the time came when each life was to be displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth. The others rose; each in turn, holding up their tapestries. So filled their lives had been. My angel looked upon me, and nodded for me to rise.

My gaze dropped to the ground in shame. I hadn't had all the earthly fortunes. I had love in my life, and laughter. But there had also been trials of illness, and wealth, and false accusations that took from me my world, as I knew it. I had to start over many times. I often struggled with the temptation to quit, only to somehow muster the strength to pick up and begin again. I spent many nights on my knees in prayer,
Asking for help and guidance in my life. I had often been held up to ridicule, which I endured painfully, each time offering it up to the Father in hopes that I would not melt within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze of those who unfairly judged me.

And now, I had to face the truth. My life was what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was. I rose and slowly lifted the combined squares of my life to the light.

An awe-filled gasp filled the air. I gazed around at the others who stared at me with wide eyes.

Then, I looked upon the tapestry before me. Light flooded the many holes, creating an image, the face of Christ. Then our Lord
Stood before me, with warmth and love in His eyes. He said, "Every time you gave over your life to Me, it became My life, My hardships, and My Struggles. Each point of light in your life is when you stepped aside and let Me shine through, until there was more of Me than there was of You."

To my Buddy...
 
The days turned to months
The months have turned to years.
Even with all the distance
There's still so many tears.
 
I still can't believe
The day really came.
That I had to let you go
Life will never be the same.
 
There's many wonderful memories
And many sad ones too.
My heart will smile and then it breaks
With just a thought of you.
 
I never knew it could hurt this much
The pain...it rips my heart.
I just miss you more and more
The longer we're apart.
 
How I long for that day
When I join you up above.
And once again I hold you close
And give you all my love.
 
Keep watching for me Buddy Boy
Cause I'll be there when I can.
There must be more I have to do
To complete our Master's Plan.

Mama will always love you B.J.

Happy Birthday to our beautiful little sister

Sarah Beth!

We love you!

Look Buddy, Johnathan got his first burr at 6 years old just like you did! Aren't you both so cute!?!

Love, Mama

Look Buddy, Johnathan finally grew into the clothes you bought him the summer before you left. I remember when you bought them I told you they were too big and he wouldn't be able to wear them until he was probably 6 years old. You just said well...he can grow into them and wear them then. He's so happy to know they came from you. Thank you Buddy, I love you!

Love, Mama

Happy Birthday Dad!!!!

We all love you so much!

Have a wonderful B-day Dad!! We all love you.

Buddy, on July 10th I spoke at Ladies Night Out at Church. I talked about having faith and walking through the valley. I'm putting my notes here but you know Mama...I said a lot more than what my notes say.   Anyway I think it went alright. I ended with telling them that to be in the valley isn't such a bad place to be. There is beauty in the valley. It's where we grow and it's what it takes to make it to Heaven and I want to make it to Heaven someday.

Plain and simple Buddy, I spoke because I want your life and death to continue to make a difference and I know it is.

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One day, two frogs were enjoying the day in the barn when they accidentally fell into the farmer's bucket of cream, and they couldn't get out. The two frogs kept swimming around to keep from drowning, and every once in a while they would try to climb out, but this was becoming very tiring.

One frog kept saying, "This is useless, we should just give up." But the other frog just ignored the comment and kept swimming. Finally, the pessimistic frog gave up and drowned. The other frog was sad at the loss of his friend, but he wasn't going to give up. He kept swimming and swimming, and, finally, the cream turned into butter and the frog simply climbed out.

This story shows that even if we stumble and others try to pull us down, we got to keep on swimming because, eventually, the cream will turn into butter and we'll make it out of the pail.

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One of the worst things you can do as a Christian is to go around with this plastic mask on saying, 'I love God, and He's so good,' when your heart is breaking inside,"
We need to be honest. Though we can say, 'God is good,' with tears running down our cheeks, but He is good, and He will see you through, and He never wastes your sorrows. He, as only He can… will transform them into that which is good—that which brings gain to the kingdom and glory to His name.

Surrendering your burden to the Lord is a step of faith and an act of will. He’s more interested in the sincerity of your heart and not the words you pray. He recognizes a genuine desire to surrender to Him.

I know that in your heart if you say, Jesus, I believe in You, He hears it. He hears your heart, I think He pays a lot more attention to your heart than your words.
Everything God does is good. Believe this with your heart, and hold on to this truth for strength in hard times.
Lord God, I cannot pretend that everything is fine, that everything is good because it's not. But I want to be completely truthful when I say that You, God, are good.
God is honored when deep inside you turn to Him and cry out, Oh God, You are awesome. Your ways are beyond finding out. Lord, I don’tt understand, but I bow before You because You are an awesome God.

Hezekiah was a king who trusted God with wholehearted devotion both in good times and in bad. The Bible records that "there was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before him or after him" 2 Kings 18:5 Even in the midst of bitter tears, Hezekiah approached God with a reverent, worshipful heart, and God heard his prayer: Remember, O Lord, how I have walked before you faithfully and with wholehearted devotion and have done what is good in your eyes.' And Hezekiah wept bitterly. 2 Kings 20:3

But we also have got to realize that the Lord isn’t just a therapist that we only go running to to make it through a difficult time. He is Lord and Savior. Your greatest joy will come when you yield your whole life to Him.
Know that you have to leave it up to Him, and you have no control over some things to come against you.
When you honor Him as God, you are better able to accept the circumstances of life.

Jeremiah 10:19 says, Woe is me for my hurt! My wound is grievous: but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it.

1 Peter 5:6-7 says, Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

In Matt. 6:11 it says, Give us this day our daily bread. Daily the Lord was providing me with what I needed but I still was looking for that pouring out of His grace and peace, and hoping I was going to have this overwhelming feeling of peace in my life, but it was not like that. It was just a day-by-day supplying of the bread that I needed for that day.

Psalm 9:10 says, Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.

God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes. Rev. 7:17

There hath not failed one word of all His good promise. 1 Kings 8:56

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See-Tee gave this to me for Mother's Day last year. I just wanted to share it with you Buddy.

Love, Mama

Out of your 19 and a half years were there ever times in your life when you felt like the tables had turned and you were the one who everyone was looking at just waiting for you to mess up? Did you feel like your family had turned and walked away from you? Didn't you just ever want to cry during all your years of growing up?

Some times we kids turned and walked away...but our family never did. They have always been there loving and waiting. We might have caused disappointment at times but the love never stopped and never will.