Bobby Jack Outlaw II

Amanda and their family came today and we had Christmas dinner and afterwards opened presents. I sure wish you were here. I miss you so much. Kayla called to wish us all a Merry Christmas. This is the first one that she hasn't been home for...we sure miss her too.

I hope you like the flower arrangement Johnathan and I brought out to your grave. I think it's pretty. We brought you some more tamales and Dad brought you a Dr Pepper. I hope they made you smile.

It sure is cold today with the snow we've had. I wish you were here to see Sarah and Johnathan play in it. Can you see them from there? I hope so.

Merry Christmas in Heaven...I love you.

Love Mama

Buddy for days now I've been having flashbacks of the days you were on dialysis and of that horrible life support machine. I'm not sure why that is happening. Maybe it's to remind me that you're well now but that's not helping much. All I know is you were here then and I wish you still were. I don't want you to be sick...I never wanted that. I just wish you could be here with me. I miss you so much. It makes me sick...and so angry!

Love, Mama

The Legend of the Candy Cane

A candy maker in Indiana wanted to make a candy that would remind people of the true meaning of Christmas; so he made the candy cane to incorporate several symbols for the birth, ministry, and death of Jesus Christ. He began with a stick of pure white, hard candy. White to symbolize the Virgin Birth and the sinless nature of Jesus, and hard to symbolize the Solid Rock, the foundation of the Church, and the firmness of the promises of God.

The candymaker then shaped his cane into the form of a "J" to represent the precious name of Jesus, who came to the earth as Savior. It could also represent the staff of the "Good Shepherd" with which He reaches down to to reclaim the fallen lambs who, like sheep, have gone astray.

Thinking that the candy was somewhat plain, the candymaker stained it with red stripes. He used three small stripes to show the stripes of the scourging Jesus received. The large red stripe was for the blood shed by Christ on the cross so that we could have the promise of eternal life.

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Boys it's because of what Jesus did for us that I can be assured of where you are and that I will be with you again someday. For that I'm so very thankful.

Love, Mama

Tonight we will light a candle for each one of you boys. I wish you were here instead but we do this to let you know we remember and we hold you close in our hearts always.

Love, Mama

Here's Sarah singing the song Light A Candle by Avalon. Didn't she do wonderful? We're sure proud of her.

Boys...this is yall's little brother and sister...Johnathan and Sarah. Need I say more? And Buddy, notice the shirt Johnathan has on. Remember your PacMan shirt? He has about worn it out!

Love, Mama

Buddy a couple of years ago Ravel had recorded Johnathan buried in the rocks. I just recently got the video given to me and Sarah made it where I could put it here. Isn't it funny?

Love, Mama

Buddy I came home from church to get lunch ready and someone had spilled something in my kitchen floor so I grabbed the mop and mopped the floor and started getting lunch ready. I opened a jar of picante sauce and headed to the microwave to get something out of it and slipped on the wet floor and fell down. I twisted my bad knee and ankle and hurt the toes on that foot. I twisted my other ankle. I twisted my bad arm...elbow and shoulder and twisted my back too. So I'm sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor in pain and covered down the front of me in picante sauce...and it's all over my fresh mopped floor as well. Needless to say I was home alone so there was no one to help me up or to clean up the new mess I made. Well I'm up now and the mess is clean but my body hurts and the tension in my neck is terrible. Not a good day here...I think I'll go to bed. Please ask Jesus to touch and heal me.

Love, Mama

Today I googled the song I have playing on your site to see if I could find the words to it. It's Only God Knows by Craig Crowder and I'm using it with permission from him...he's someone I know personally. Anyway I found where someone posted it on their facebook and said you boys were Craig Crowders...even wrote your names B.J., Wayne and Buck. They said he understood lose because he lost 3 sons and has memory sites for them. They even posted my signature from the forum and changed it to look like it was him that wrote it. I am beyond mad! I'm angry, I'm hurt and my blood pressure is up. How dare someone give my boys away!

Please ask Jesus to help me...

Love, Mama

Boys I wanted to come back to this and tell you that the person that did this emailed me and it was just a terrible mistake. She had misunderstood and I got upset. We got it worked out now and it's in the past where it belongs. I've forgiven her and I hope in turn she will forgive me.

Love, Mama

Buddy I'm a few days late at getting this here but I wanted it here anyway. On Sunday you know the Thornhill's were down. Well Sister Thornhill sang this song and it ministered to me so much. I told her after church that I would like to have the words to it and she told me that she had sang it with me in mind. Aww that makes it even more special to me. I miss you B.J. but we both know the Lord has been good to me...I just need to remember.

Love, Mama

B.J. Shules is entering some kind of contest for new Christmas songs and he wanted to write one that isn't what someone else has already written so he did and he did it in memory of you. It can be applied to the lose of anyone we love but my heart is touched because it was written in your memory. I wanted to share the words with you. The first part is sang only once and the rest is sang twice...it's beautiful and it made me cry when I went over to their house tonight so he could sing it for me.

Buddy you made such an impact in the lives of so many people. And as Brother Mullins told me tonight...you still are even when you're in heaven.

Love Mama



One For The Hurt
In loving memory of the shortest friendship I ever had. RIP BJ Outlaw
~Shules Hersh

O Come all ye Faithful dashing through the snow
Come hear The First Noel laughing as you go
While shepherds kept their watching all around this silent night
A Holly Jolly Christmas has filled our dreams with white
Go Tell It On The Mountain I'll Be Home for Christmas true
And the elves in Santa's workshop will be working all night through
Magical music merrily rings 'round the hearth where eyes are all aglow
But no one is singing for the ones who are clinging to memories of moments long ago

So this one's for the hurt ones
Who walk among us all
Who will try this Yuletide Season
To bravely deck the halls
Who will sit beneath the mistletoe
And miss someone to kiss
Who will pray for grace to make it through
And smile for someone else

God bless you this Happy Christmas!
May you find some peace on earth
May you find the faith to witness
A little Hope at it's birth

After all the other songs
Merry carolers have sung
Lift your voices everyone
And sing one for the hurt ones.

Blessings,

 

Shules Hersh

You will never see your ship come in if you never send your ship to sea. (2 Cor 9:6)

Hey boys, just wishing your Grandma a Happy Birthday in Heaven today. Help make it wonderful for her and tell her we love her and miss her...especially Dad.

Love, Mama

I took this picture of your grave after I put new flowers. I hope you like them Buddy.

Love, Mama

B.J. today is little Caeley's birthday...she was born the day you left. I know you watch over her and I'm glad you do. She is such a sweet little girl and will always have her own special place in our hearts. Please ask Jesus to continue to heal her little body and to bless her extra special today for her birthday.

Love, Mama

B.J. I'd give anything if I could just go back 6 years and make things turn out different. If I could just somehow find a way to keep you here with us. But we both know I can't. I know you're happy and healthy and I wouldn't change that...I just love you and miss you so much. Please always remember how much you're loved and Buddy you keep watching for us because I promise you that just as soon as the Lord lets us we'll be there.

Love you forever and always, Mama

 B.J. I'd give anything if you could be here with us for Thanksgiving. I miss you so much. No matter how much my heart hurts I will always be thankful that I was blessed with you for a son. I'm so proud of you and I'll treasure my memories of you forever.
We had hamburgers for the meal at Amanda's because we wanted to do something different. I think it went well and it was the best Thanksgiving I've had since you've been gone. I do wish though that Kayla could have been there...I missed her very much. I still wish you had been there too and I did lite a candle for you...did you see it? Little Elijah kept blowing it out!
Happy Thanksgiving Buddy I love you.

Love Mama

Happy Thanksgiving my sweet bitty boys Wayne and Buck. I so wish you could be here with us too. I'll always love you and miss you both. Someday my sweet boys...we'll be together forever.

Love, Mama

B.J. it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm trying so hard to be thankful and make it a good one for the girls and Johnathan oh but Buddy it's so hard. I miss you so much. And I can't help but remember that last Thanksgiving that you were here. You were sick yet you went ahead and did everything we did with the family and seemed to have a good time. Then that horrible Monday after Thanksgiving we had to let you go. The memories of it all threatens to overwhelm me so often. I've pushed it down all day today and now the tears are flowing. I'll never understand why it had to be this way. I wish you were here.

Love Mama