Elijah started school on Sept.8 and this is how Amanda said his day began. He was taking his pjs off to get dressed and says "First day of school, here I come". Isn't he just the sweetest little guy? Oh how I wish you were here.
Love, Mama
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| Elijah started Pre-K 9/8/2010 |
| Happy 4th Birthday Elijah 9/2/10 |
Today is little Elijah's 4th birthday. Oh how I wish you were here. You would love that little guy so much...of course I know you do anyway. But still...I wish he could know you here. I know all three of you would have been great Uncles...just like your little brother is.
Love, Mama
| Jesus is so good. 8/27/2010 |
I got the sweetest email from an internet friend of mine this morning. She told me that she thinks I'm an amazing woman and she wants to be just like me. I'm so humbled by it...and the tears have been falling since I read her words. No one has ever told me that and my heart is touched in such a way I can't explain it. I know my faults but I also know how much I love the Lord and how much I love people. It's my hearts desire to reach out to people with the love of Jesus and her words have shown me I must be doing something right even if I can't see it myself. Jesus is so good to me.
Love, Mama
| For our oldest sister Amanda |
Happy Anniversary Amanda and Chris, we hope you have many happy years together.
Love your little brothers B.J. Wayne and Buck
| Kayla's 'lil one's Birthday 7/31/2010 |
Today is your nephew's 1st birthday. It would have been nice to see him on his birthday but some things just can't be. You boys go stay close to him and whisper in his ear just how much we all love him. Thank you...and I love you.
Love, Mama
| Your little brother's prayer... |
Boys I have to tell you what your little brother did yesterday. I was laying on the couch because my leg was hurting...my left knee isn't so good. Anyway Johnathan came up to me wearing his tool belt full of tools and asked me if there was any work I needed him to do for me. I told him well my leg is hurting so can you just cut it off for me? He looked down at his tools and said...I don't have a saw. I told him then just use your pliers and pinch it off a little at a time. He said ok and out came the pliers and he started pinching on my leg. He was being real easy so all it was doing was tickling my leg.
Finally I told him to stop cause I can't stand to be tickled. Then I asked him...why don't you get your anointing oil and just pray for it. The silly kid look around and said...I don't know where my oil is so can I just use spit? lol I told him no you can't use spit! lol Then I said oh well go ahead and use spit if you want to cause my leg needs prayed for. So...he licks his finger...smiles and wipes it across his shirt...then lays his hand on my leg to pray. So I close my eyes and I'm going to pray for it with him. This is what he prayed...Jesus you see Mama's leg is hurting...please make it fall off for her. LOL Open flew my eyes and I said Johnathan what are you doing?!
Don't be asking Jesus to make my leg fall off...he might do it!
He said but Mama you told me to cut it off so I was asking Jesus to.
Finally I told him to stop cause I can't stand to be tickled. Then I asked him...why don't you get your anointing oil and just pray for it. The silly kid look around and said...I don't know where my oil is so can I just use spit? lol I told him no you can't use spit! lol Then I said oh well go ahead and use spit if you want to cause my leg needs prayed for. So...he licks his finger...smiles and wipes it across his shirt...then lays his hand on my leg to pray. So I close my eyes and I'm going to pray for it with him. This is what he prayed...Jesus you see Mama's leg is hurting...please make it fall off for her. LOL Open flew my eyes and I said Johnathan what are you doing?! Don't be asking Jesus to make my leg fall off...he might do it! He said but Mama you told me to cut it off so I was asking Jesus to.Oh my...I have got to learn to be more careful about what I ask that little boy to do.
Never a dull moment at our house!
Love Mama
| Our 28th Anniversary 7/24/2010 |
Hey boys I just wanted to share something with you since it's mine and your Dad's anniversary. Love Mama
****************************************************************************
I want to give a Heart Hug to the most wonderful man I know. His name is Bobby Outlaw and he has been my husband for 28 Years on Juli 24th. I don't know a stronger person than him. Twenty five years ago on Bobby's birthday (Juli 21st) our oldest son B.J. was diagnosed with kidney failure. Bobby was there for this young mom that was scared to death. Just 6 months later on Januari 26 1986 we lost our twin sons Wayne and Buck to an early birth. Bobby was there to comfort me even though his loss was as painful as mine. Again almost 9 years ago when our wonderful little boy Johnathan was placed in our lives through adoption. Bobby being the great Dad he is proved that the bonds of love that make a family doesn't require being flesh and blood. During these years he gave me three of the most wonderful and beautiful girls Amanda Kayla and Sarah that any mom would be proud of and I am. On Mei 6 2003 Bobby gave the very gift of life to our son B.J. when he gave him a kidney through kidney transplant. Bobby is a hero in my eyes. It was just a short 7 months later on Dec.12003 that the Lord called our son B.J. home to Heaven at the young age of 19 years. Our world turned upside down. Once again Bobby was there with love and comfort for me all the while suffering just as much as I was. Then on Sept.2 2006 our first born grandson Elijah was born 3 months premature and as we prayed and waited for his tiny body to grow and become stronge Bobby continued to give me the encouragement and hope I needed to trust that all would be well. I know fear must have gripped his heart as it did mine because we both knew what great loss is and knew no one is guaranteed not to suffer this kind of heartache and pain. There are so many more things we've been through together I couldn't possibly list them all here but I think I have shared enough to show what a great man I'm blessed with. Yes we've about made each other crazy more times than either of us want to admit and many times we've wondered if we were going to make it. But I know the Lord knew what He was doing when He brought us together and I'm so thankful he did.
| Brother and Sister Lingle |
B.J. Brother and Sister Lingle is our new Pastor and Pastor's wife now. You know I love them both so much but letting Brother and Sister Mullins go is just breaking my heart.
Love, Mama
| Happy Birthday Dad! |
Love, B.J., Wayne and Buck
| Simply Pray For Me 7/16/2010 |
Simply Pray For Me
***
You think I could do better,
Than I am doing now.
You think if I'd only listen,
You could tell me How.
Why do you pass judgment...
On the outward things you see?
Why not lift me up instead,
And simply pray for me?
You see these shoes that I walk in...
I never chose them to wear.
And at times I do grow weary,
Under this burden I must bare.
So while you feel you hold the answers,
And you tell me how it should be.
Why not call out my name to Jesus,
And simply pray for me?
It's not a lack of Faith I have.
And it's not a lack of Trust.
For I know who my Jesus is.
And to lean on Him is a must.
But still I'm only human.
And this pain is real you see.
So I'm asking you once again my friend.
If you'll simply pray for me?
Than I am doing now.
You think if I'd only listen,
You could tell me How.
Why do you pass judgment...
On the outward things you see?
Why not lift me up instead,
And simply pray for me?
You see these shoes that I walk in...
I never chose them to wear.
And at times I do grow weary,
Under this burden I must bare.
So while you feel you hold the answers,
And you tell me how it should be.
Why not call out my name to Jesus,
And simply pray for me?
It's not a lack of Faith I have.
And it's not a lack of Trust.
For I know who my Jesus is.
And to lean on Him is a must.
But still I'm only human.
And this pain is real you see.
So I'm asking you once again my friend.
If you'll simply pray for me?
© Cindy Outlaw
***************************
Just sharing a poem I wrote tonight...
| A letter from Elijah 7/10/2010 |
Look at the sweet picture little Elijah sent us today. It was for Gee-maw and Paw-paw. Oh how I wish you were here to know him...he's such a good little guy. But I know you boys watch over him always and I'm glad.
Love, Mama
| 8 years ago on July 10th |
Wow Buddy it's hard to believe that 8 years ago is when we first met with Mary Ann to talk about your kidney transplant. I know there's no good in the what if's but I can't help it. I can't help but think what if we didn't go through with it? Would you still be here with us? My heart tells me no and yet it's my heart that still asks the question.
I just miss you so much B.J. What I'd give if I could have you here with me but I don't want you to be sick so Mama will wait...
Love and miss you so much, Mama
| Happy 4th of July 2010 |
| Happy Father's Day Dad! |
| The Merciful Exchanges 6/10/2010 |
Boys this is something Sarah put together and I think it's great so I wanted to share it with yall. Aren't you just so proud of your little sister? I know I am!
Love, Mama
The Merciful Exchanges
Luke 23:33-34;46
33) And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. 34) Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
46) And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.
First, God died. We all know that.
Acts 7:25
25) For he supposed his brethren would have understood how that God by his hand would deliver them: but they understood not.
Normally, what we as Christians tend to think is that all people know of Gods delivering power, but very few do. Just because they have God "in their heart," doesn't mean that they know the full extent of His almighty being.
So like in Acts, they didn't know God would deliver them. As Stephen exlained the plan of Moses and the deliverance not only the Hebrews had, it showed how Moses himself was delivered.
Acts 7:35
35) This Moses whom they refused, saying, Who made thee a ruler and a judge? the same did God send to be a ruler and a deliverer by the hand of the angel which appeared to him in the bush.
The Hebrews cried out and God heard them. Just like in Luke 4:18 , Stephen taught of the power and authority God has over the spiritually bound.
Luke 4:18
18) The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, Luke 1:68-74
33) And when they were come to the place, which is called Calvary, there they crucified him, and the malefactors, one on the right hand, and the other on the left. 34) Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
46) And when Jesus had cried with a loud voice, he said, Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit: and having said thus, he gave up the ghost.
First, God died. We all know that.
Acts 7:25
25) For he supposed his brethren would have understood how that God by his hand would deliver them: but they understood not.
Normally, what we as Christians tend to think is that all people know of Gods delivering power, but very few do. Just because they have God "in their heart," doesn't mean that they know the full extent of His almighty being.
So like in Acts, they didn't know God would deliver them. As Stephen exlained the plan of Moses and the deliverance not only the Hebrews had, it showed how Moses himself was delivered.
Acts 7:35
35) This Moses whom they refused, saying, Who made thee a ruler and a judge? the same did God send to be a ruler and a deliverer by the hand of the angel which appeared to him in the bush.
The Hebrews cried out and God heard them. Just like in Luke 4:18 , Stephen taught of the power and authority God has over the spiritually bound.
Luke 4:18
18) The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised, Luke 1:68-74
68) Blessed be the Lord God of Israel; for he hath visited and redeemed his people, 69) And hath raised up an horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David; 70) As he spake by the mouth of his holy prophets, which have been since the world began: 71) That we should be saved from our enemies, and from the hand of all that hate us; 72) To perform the mercy promised to our fathers, and to remember his holy covenant; 73) The oath which he sware to our father Abraham, 74) That he would grant unto us, that we being delivered out of the hand of our enemies might serve him without fear,
This is where we see the promises of deliverance. A covenant/oath was like swearing something. In Gods eyes, it was something that could not be broken under any terms.
So we see in Luke that God started his covenant/oath from salvation in Davids house, and blessings from Abrahams.
Matthew 1:21
21) And she shall bring forth a son, and thou shalt call his name JESUS: for he shall save his people from their sins.
This is our promise! The promise of deliverance. God is our deliverer, and by His birth and the prophesy of His saving grace, it is fufilled.
Hebrews 7:25
25) Wherefore he is able also to save them to the uttermost that come unto God by him, seeing he ever liveth to make intercession for them.
He is able to save them to the uttermost. Broken down to its origianal form, uttermost becomes utmost, which in Websters Dictionary mean "the greatest or most distant." Guess what? That means you're not too far from God!!
Romans 6:8-14
8) Now if we be dead with Christ, we believe that we shall also live with him: 9) Knowing that Christ being raised from the dead dieth no more; death hath no more dominion over him. 10) For in that he died, he died unto sin once: but in that he liveth, he liveth unto God. 11) Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord. 12) Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof. 13) Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin: but yield yourselves unto God, as those that are alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness unto God. 14) For sin shall not have dominion over you: for ye are not under the law, but under grace.
When we come to God, nothing else matters but our relationship with Him! In verse 14 it specifically says "For sin shall not have dominion over you..."
Ezra 9:8
8) And now for a little space grace hath been shewed from the LORD our God, to leave us a remnant to escape, and to give us a nail in his holy place, that our God may lighten our eyes, and give us a little reviving in our bondage.
So many people are bound with the things of this world. From X-Box, to music, to lust, to drugs, depression, or many other things. If it takes away from time with God, you're bound. Ezra 9:8 clearly states that the nails put into Gods hands was so that we would not be held down by the things of this world, but by His word.
Gods exchange with us is simple. He went to the cross with our eternal guarentee to hell. He put His time, love, energy, but most importantly His life into our unmerciful hands. This was His choice, and now our eternity is secured by the nails and crown of thorns that held Him to the cross. This is our deliverance. Our promise. But God rose. His resurrection exemplifies the way we should exploit ourselves to this world. Yes, we get bound and we fall, but by the loving grace of God, and with His helping hands, we may rise. We may overcome.
| You little brothers fish... |
We took the kids fishing on Memorial Day. Johnathan caught two fish, a little one and a big one. When we tried to take pictures of Johnathan holding them he was scared. I'll explain "why" under the pictures.
Johnathan was afraid to hold his little fish so I had to hold it first to show him it wouldn't hurt him. I couldn't understand why he was so afraid of it...I found out later.
When I tried to get him to hold this big fish he wasn't just afraid of it he was terrified. Again I had to help him hold it at first to show him he didn't have to be afraid. Again I wondered why...
So then he's holding it and it starts moving...look at the look on his face! He has the same look as his fish. lol I had to take the fish and he had blood on his hand from the fish and he freaked out and started running and screaming wanting it washed off.
When he got ready for bed that night he told me Mom...you remember when I was afraid of those fish...I said yes. He said it's cause when I caught the first little one Dad told me I had to be careful of those poky things (fins) because if I let them cut me I would have to go to the hospital. And then when I held the big one and saw the blood I ...thought it was me bleeding. I told him but Johnathan you didn't feel any pain. He said well I didn't know if you were suppose to feel pain or not...all I know is I thought I was bleeding and Dad said I would have to go the the hospital. Oh my!!! He took Dad too serious...poor little guy.
So I go ask Daddy about it and he said yes he told him that but he didn't think he took him that serious. But he said when Johnathan caught the big one and it was flopping in the boat Johnathan dove to the other end to get away from it and was yelling over and over "protect me Jesus"! I felt bad for him...he needed to be careful but not be terrified. So now Mama has explained and I don't think we'll have this problem next time.
| 8 years ago today May 31st 2002 |
B.J. you graduated 8 years ago today on May 31st 2002. *sigh* you were suppose to have your whole life ahead of you. I guess you did...I just wanted it to be more than a year and a half. Sure miss you Buddy. :( Oh but I'm proud of you as school didn't come easy for you with your health problems. You were never a quiter...and you're so blessed now. As much as I miss you I can't begrudge you that. Enjoy my son...Love, Mama
| One more to share with you. :) 5/24 |
Here's another one I wanted to share with you. Johnathan is doing good isn't he?Love, Mama
| Look what your 'lil brother got! 5/24 |
Oh Buddy aren't you just so proud of Johnathan? And isn't Jesus just so good? He's the first one of you kids to ever get perfect attendance and he had such a hard start in life with his health. I'm so thankful. Thank you for coming to his awards ceremony today...the "Melodies from Heaven" let us know you were there.Love, Mama
| B.J. Outlaw |
The angels came and ushered me into God's presence, dear mama.
They carried me like you did when I would fall asleep.
I awoke into the arms of Jesus,
the One who gave His life for me!
It's so beautiful up here, mama;
so beautiful like you've always said!
A pure river of life, clear as crystal forever flowing,
proceeding out of the throne of God.
So overwhelmed with His love was I, dear mama!
Imagine my joy seeing Jesus face to face!
His smile so warm...
His face so radiant...
"Welcome home My child!" He tenderly said.
Oh, don't be sad for me, mama.
I can run and jump and
dance and sing!
I feel so light on my feet like I'm dreaming, mama!
Sometimes I laugh as I dance in the presence of the angels.
The curse of death has lost its sting.
Oh, don't cry for me so, mama.
Your teardrops fall like the summer rain.
Death is sorrowful with its separation.
Cry for a while, but not as those in vain.
Although God called me home so early,
with so many dreams we had, so many songs unsung.
I'll be in your heart, in your cherished memories.
The moments we had will carry you through.
Remember when at bedtime I'd crawl up in your bed?
You would tell me stories of Jesus and the love for us He had.
I looked into your face as you read to me in the candlelight.
"Will the angels come to carry me home too, mama?"
You chuckled teasingly, ruffling my hair.
"Yes, my little angel, but you have to wait!
Trust Him as your Savior,
in His blood that was shed for you."
On bended knees you prayed for me,
a tear splashed down your cheek.
"Was that a tear mama?" I asked you softly.
You looked away from me.
A tender sigh escaped your lips
gathering your thoughts together...
" Yes, my little angel, tears in my heart water my prayers."
you said softly, kissing me goodnight.
That night when you prayed for me
I got down on my knees.
The moonlight danced on the wooden floors
when I asked God to save me.
Although I didn't know what to say at first,
I remember what you said.
"Pray from your heart, dear child."
you said tenderly, turning to the door to leave.
Jesus came into my life that night, dear mama!
In the darkness, I could feel you smile.
Bells rang for me in heaven!
My name written in the book of life.
So don't cry for me, dear mama,
I'm here in heaven because of you.
Jesus needs you now, for there are my brothers.
There's more work on earth for you to do.
One day when your work is over
the angels will come to carry you
safely into the arms of Jesus,
the One who loved and died for you.
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