Bobby Jack Outlaw II

Today I googled the song I have playing on your site to see if I could find the words to it. It's Only God Knows by Craig Crowder and I'm using it with permission from him...he's someone I know personally. Anyway I found where someone posted it on their facebook and said you boys were Craig Crowders...even wrote your names B.J., Wayne and Buck. They said he understood lose because he lost 3 sons and has memory sites for them. They even posted my signature from the forum and changed it to look like it was him that wrote it. I am beyond mad! I'm angry, I'm hurt and my blood pressure is up. How dare someone give my boys away!

Please ask Jesus to help me...

Love, Mama

Boys I wanted to come back to this and tell you that the person that did this emailed me and it was just a terrible mistake. She had misunderstood and I got upset. We got it worked out now and it's in the past where it belongs. I've forgiven her and I hope in turn she will forgive me.

Love, Mama

Buddy I'm a few days late at getting this here but I wanted it here anyway. On Sunday you know the Thornhill's were down. Well Sister Thornhill sang this song and it ministered to me so much. I told her after church that I would like to have the words to it and she told me that she had sang it with me in mind. Aww that makes it even more special to me. I miss you B.J. but we both know the Lord has been good to me...I just need to remember.

Love, Mama

B.J. Shules is entering some kind of contest for new Christmas songs and he wanted to write one that isn't what someone else has already written so he did and he did it in memory of you. It can be applied to the lose of anyone we love but my heart is touched because it was written in your memory. I wanted to share the words with you. The first part is sang only once and the rest is sang twice...it's beautiful and it made me cry when I went over to their house tonight so he could sing it for me.

Buddy you made such an impact in the lives of so many people. And as Brother Mullins told me tonight...you still are even when you're in heaven.

Love Mama



One For The Hurt
In loving memory of the shortest friendship I ever had. RIP BJ Outlaw
~Shules Hersh

O Come all ye Faithful dashing through the snow
Come hear The First Noel laughing as you go
While shepherds kept their watching all around this silent night
A Holly Jolly Christmas has filled our dreams with white
Go Tell It On The Mountain I'll Be Home for Christmas true
And the elves in Santa's workshop will be working all night through
Magical music merrily rings 'round the hearth where eyes are all aglow
But no one is singing for the ones who are clinging to memories of moments long ago

So this one's for the hurt ones
Who walk among us all
Who will try this Yuletide Season
To bravely deck the halls
Who will sit beneath the mistletoe
And miss someone to kiss
Who will pray for grace to make it through
And smile for someone else

God bless you this Happy Christmas!
May you find some peace on earth
May you find the faith to witness
A little Hope at it's birth

After all the other songs
Merry carolers have sung
Lift your voices everyone
And sing one for the hurt ones.

Blessings,

 

Shules Hersh

You will never see your ship come in if you never send your ship to sea. (2 Cor 9:6)

Hey boys, just wishing your Grandma a Happy Birthday in Heaven today. Help make it wonderful for her and tell her we love her and miss her...especially Dad.

Love, Mama

I took this picture of your grave after I put new flowers. I hope you like them Buddy.

Love, Mama

B.J. today is little Caeley's birthday...she was born the day you left. I know you watch over her and I'm glad you do. She is such a sweet little girl and will always have her own special place in our hearts. Please ask Jesus to continue to heal her little body and to bless her extra special today for her birthday.

Love, Mama

B.J. I'd give anything if I could just go back 6 years and make things turn out different. If I could just somehow find a way to keep you here with us. But we both know I can't. I know you're happy and healthy and I wouldn't change that...I just love you and miss you so much. Please always remember how much you're loved and Buddy you keep watching for us because I promise you that just as soon as the Lord lets us we'll be there.

Love you forever and always, Mama

 B.J. I'd give anything if you could be here with us for Thanksgiving. I miss you so much. No matter how much my heart hurts I will always be thankful that I was blessed with you for a son. I'm so proud of you and I'll treasure my memories of you forever.
We had hamburgers for the meal at Amanda's because we wanted to do something different. I think it went well and it was the best Thanksgiving I've had since you've been gone. I do wish though that Kayla could have been there...I missed her very much. I still wish you had been there too and I did lite a candle for you...did you see it? Little Elijah kept blowing it out!
Happy Thanksgiving Buddy I love you.

Love Mama

Happy Thanksgiving my sweet bitty boys Wayne and Buck. I so wish you could be here with us too. I'll always love you and miss you both. Someday my sweet boys...we'll be together forever.

Love, Mama

B.J. it's Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'm trying so hard to be thankful and make it a good one for the girls and Johnathan oh but Buddy it's so hard. I miss you so much. And I can't help but remember that last Thanksgiving that you were here. You were sick yet you went ahead and did everything we did with the family and seemed to have a good time. Then that horrible Monday after Thanksgiving we had to let you go. The memories of it all threatens to overwhelm me so often. I've pushed it down all day today and now the tears are flowing. I'll never understand why it had to be this way. I wish you were here.

Love Mama

Happy 8th Birthday to our little brother Johnathan.

We love you Scooty!

Love, B.J., Wayne and Buck

Here's an I love you for you from each of us!

When we're all together again we're going to have a great time playing football. Until then you enjoy life and know you have three big brothers that are watching over you and are so proud of you.

Some day we'll all be together for ever and we will have so much fun! Until then you enjoy life and know we'll always be there watching over you.

We love you Johnathan!

Love, B.J., Wayne and Buck

Melodies from Heaven...just for you!

B.J. this morning Sister Mullins called me about something and she asked how I was doing. I told her well I've had better days because I was right in the middle of a melt down. We talked for a while and she shared something with me that I'm glad she did. This past year a lady I went to High School with started coming to church. I hadn't seen Janice since High School so she didn't know you. Since she started coming to church she's heard of you but didn't really know what all had happened. Sister Mullins said Janice asked her the other day about what happened to you so she told her all about the day you died. She said it was the worst day of her life. She said she could remember every detail of that horrible day and that she misses you so much. I'm so glad she shared that with me. I need to know people haven't forgotten. I needed to hear how much you were loved. I needed to know I wasn't forgotten. We cried on the phone together and she told me she would come and set with me and hold a cold cloth on my forehead while I threw up cause I told her it was all making me sick and I needed to throw up. Before it was over she had me laughing and telling her I didn't want her or anyone else here with me if I was doing that. The crazy woman said then she would stand outside my bathroom door and yell I'm here for you but I can't hear you. I love that lady more than she will ever know. So the tears still flow but at least I know someone remembers and I'm reminded that there can still be laughter even in the tears. Maybe I'm crazy, but right now I don't care cause I needed it.

I love you Buddy, and I miss you so much!

Love, Mama

Wishing your Grandpa Outlaw a Happy Birthday today. Boys please tell him we love him and we miss him so much...especially your Dad. Help him celebrate big.

Love, Mama

Wishing our beautiful little sister Kayla a Happy Birthday today. We hope your day is as wonderful and as special as you are to us. May your hearts desire be yours today and always.

Love you forever,

B.J., Wayne & Buck

Oh Buddy, tonight at church Sister Bobbi gave me three pictures of you I had never seen. She had told me on Wednesday that she had them and asked me if I wanted them. Of course I did and I couldn't wait to get them. Oh but B.J. when I saw them my heart broke. They were taken when you were so puffy from the steroids you were on. I know you hated being that way. My heart was torn between being glad I got more pictures and yet not wanting to see you like that. And it was torn between wanting you here with me yet knowing you were healthy in Heaven and I would never want to put you through that again. Please forgive me Buddy for being so mixed up and torn. I just miss you so much...but I don't want you to be sick. Just know I love you Buddy, I always have and I always will.

Love, Mama

Hey Buddy, does the Lord drop braces from Heaven? I have to wonder. I went to the alter Sunday morning and told Brother Jeff I wanted prayer for me knee. Remember I hurt it last year during Thanksgiving weekend when we were working your grave? I told him it has hurt for almost a year and I'm ready for it to get well. Someone had told me recently that I needed to go to the doctor and get a knee support brace for it so it could heal but with our finances the way they are these days that isn't an option.

Well today Dad started to go back to work and he said "oh, I have something for you"! He went to his pickup and he brought me a knee support. I asked him where it came from and he said he didn't know...he found it in the back of his pickup yesterday. I had to laugh Buddy cause I know where it came from. I honestly believe it was a gift from the Lord...and answer to my prayer.

Love, Mama

Your little brother Johnathan dressed up as a Dentist for his PTO Program. I just wanted to share a picture of him with you.

Love, Mama

B.J. my friend Martha (Jason and Amanda's Mama) left this on a candle over on your Memory-of site. It's found in Hebrews 11:4. She said when she read it that it made her think of you. That just blesses my heart so much Buddy. You did have much faith and I'm so proud of you.

Love, Mama

My sweet Wayne and Buck, you remember Mama and Daddy gave care packages this past year in loving memory of you to be used in the hospital for other Mommy and Daddy's that suffered the loss of their baby? I found out last night that the Maternity Ward refused them and that makes me so sad. They will still be used if needed in the ER but still it just upsets me so much. I'm sorry babies, Mama feels like I somehow failed you and I didn't mean to.

I love you so much.

Love, Mama