Bobby Jack Outlaw II

We're doing things a little different for our Church Valentine Banquet this year. Instead of focusing on couples we're focusing more on "Love". For example...The Love of Jesus...The Love of a Husband/Wife...A Mother's Love...and so on. They chose me to speak on a Mother's Love and I'm honored because oh how I love my kids! I am going to speak on a Mother's love for her children but I also want to speak on accepting love from others if our own Mother never showed us the love we longed for...I know too well what that is like and I know we have others in our church (especially some of the youth) that longs for a Mothers love. Please ask Jesus to help me. I hope you boys know how much I love you and always have.

Love, Mama

My Notes...

Oh to tell of a Mother's love. Really something as special and as wonderful as that can't be put into simple words but I'm going to try.

A Mom falls in love with her child long before that child is born. As little girls we play with our baby dolls and dream of the day when we will become Mommies. Then years later when we do become Mom's we know our hearts no longer belong to us...they now belong to the sweet baby that we have finally been blessed with. You know the one I'm meaning...the little one that cries all night and doesn't let us get enough sleep. The one that spits up on us and stains all our clothes. The one that gives us those stinky diapers that no one else seems to know how to change except for Mama. The ones that melt our hearts will hugs and kisses and I love you Mommy. Yep you know what I mean. That perfect little girl or boy that we know is the most beautiful, the sweetest, the smartest, the best creation ever born. Yes that's my child! And for those of us that have be blessed with more than one...well...we know they too are the most beautiful, the sweetest, the smartest, the best creation ever born.

We watch them grow up and we pray for them that they will be all they were meant to be and that the Lord will always put his blessings on them. We want only the best for them because hey...that's my child and my child deserves the best.

We are proud of them for their great accomplishments as there are many. We cry over their heartaches probably as much or more than they do even though they might not realize it. We keep right on loving them when they do wrong...believe it or not even though they are perfect...they do things wrong sometimes. And yes...even when they break our hearts we keep right on loving them and if possible we love them even more because that's what Mama's do.

Also for those of us like myself that have been blessed with an adopted child...let me be the first to tell you that the love for that child is no different than the love for the ones we give birth to. They are all "children of the heart"...they just got to us by coming a different route. I have a cousin that told me after we adopted Johnathan that "all children were meant to be "somebodies child" and it's not always the one that gave birth to them". I have to agree with her because I know I love Johnathan every bit as much as I love his brothers and sisters and he is just as much mine...he was meant to be mine and I'm so thankful for that.

There is absolutely nothing that can stop a Mother's love for her children...not even Heaven. This I know because I have three sons in Heaven and I still love them as much and they are still just as much a part of my life as my other kids are...they just can't be seen is the only difference. Plain and simple a Mother's love will last throughout Eternity...I know it will.

I have one more thing I want to share and then I'll stop. There may be those here that have never felt the kind of love I'm talking about from their Mom's. You may long for that kind of love and feel like you will never be blessed with knowing what it's like. Let me say I was one of those that wasn't blessed with the kind of love my heart longed for from my Mom. Oh I know she loved me the best she knew how...but I never felt that special kind of love I've talked about. I don't remember her ever even telling me she loved me. I remember asking her one time as a little girl if she loved me and she said yes...but I never heard the words I longed to hear and she was never able to show me that kind of love. I'm not telling you this to make her look or sound bad and surely not to make anyone feel sorry for me. I just want you to know if you do feel like this...I understand what that's like. But let me add...over the years after I got in church the Lord brought many Mother figures into my life that did and still do love me with a Mothers love. All I had to do was open my heart and eyes to see it and accept it. Jesus never meant for us to be without that kind of love and for those that have been...he will bless you with "Other Mom's" that will love you the way you long to be loved. I believe if you are one I may be talking to...if you'll only take the time to look inside your heart and mind you'll see the face of one of those "Other Mom's" that does and has loved you with a Mothers love. I pray you'll open your heart to them and let them love you and let Jesus bless you in a way you've never known before.

Mama
Oh my sweet boys I'd give anything to have you here with me. Not one birthday have I got to spend with you and now here you are already 25 years old. It breaks my heart to think of all I've missed out on with you. Please know Mama loves you and if I could have made things be different I would have.

Love you forever, Mama

Another year has come and gone and I miss you more than ever. I won't leave you behind no matter what anyone thinks I should do. You'll stay with me in my heart until I can be with you in Heaven.

Love, Mama

Merry Christmas Boys! Nothing is the same without you here. I love and miss you so much.

Love, Mama

Aww B.J. it's so hard to believe it's been 7 years already yet it seems like forever since I've seen you. I miss you so much. Not a day goes by that you don't stay on my mind. You may be out of sight for now but you will never leave my heart and mind. I'll hold you close always.

I went out to the cemetary by myself today. Buddy it's so sad and lonely out there. I'm so glad you're not really there. Heaven has to be wonderful and you deserve all it has to offer. I just wish all of us could be there with you. Johnathan didn't want to go out to the cemetary today. He said he wanted to wait until Saturday...that today was already too hard for him. Poor little guy. He loves and misses you so much.

Brother and Sister Mullins sent us a vase of flowers in memory of you. They are so pretty. The Mullins' always remember and we're so thankful. You sure loved them didn't you B.J.?

Buddy the beautiful graphic I'm putting here was made for you by Dianne...Mr Nicky's Mom. Isn't it beautiful? Tell him I said he just has such a wonderful Mom.

B.J. you know I love you. Please never forget that. And Buddy you just keep watching for us cause we will be there just as soon as Jesus says we can.

Love you forever and always, Mama

Well Buddy this was our 7th Thanksgiving with you not here. I did miss you being here...I always will. But we did enjoy spending the evening with Amanda. Her boys made me smile...I know that made you happy. I also know you and Wayne and Buck had a wonderful time with Jesus. I can't wait until we're all together.

Johnathan and I went out to the cemetary this morning. It was so sad and lonely feeling there. I told Johnathan and later Dad that I was so glad your aren't really there. That you're safe  and warm and happy in Heaven with Jesus. It gave me comfort knowing that. I'll always wish you were here with us but my heart has hope of being with you again someday...another comfort to your Mama's broken heart.

Happy Thanksgiving boys, I love you so much.

Love, Mama

The night before Thanksgiving 7 years ago is when you first got sick B.J. I remember you went and helped Sister Mullins make sure the lights at the Court House were all working because they would be turning them on that night. You didn't care that it was drizzling rain and cold...you were just happy to help as always.

Happy 9th Birthday Johnathan

November 22, 2010

We love you Johnathan!

..

We love you so much!

We hope you have a birthday that's just as special as you are to us.

Love, B.J., Wayne and Buck

Wishing our little sister Kayla a Happy 23rd Birthday. We'll love you forever Lala!

Love your big brothers, B.J., Wayne and Buck

We're wishing our little sister the happiest birthday ever because we know she deserves it. Happy Birthday Sarah Beth, we love you!

Love your big brothers, B.J., Wayne and Buck

Elijah started school on Sept.8 and this is how Amanda said his day began. He was taking his pjs off to get dressed and says "First day of school, here I come". Isn't he just the sweetest little guy? Oh how I wish you were here.

Love, Mama

Today is little Elijah's 4th birthday. Oh how I wish you were here. You would love that little guy so much...of course I know you do anyway. But still...I wish he could know you here. I know all three of you would have been great Uncles...just like your little brother is.

Love, Mama

I got the sweetest email from an internet friend of mine this morning. She told me that she thinks I'm an amazing woman and she wants to be just like me. I'm so humbled by it...and the tears have been falling since I read her words. No one has ever told me that and my heart is touched in such a way I can't explain it. I know my faults but I also know how much I love the Lord and how much I love people. It's my hearts desire to reach out to people with the love of Jesus and her words have shown me I must be doing something right even if I can't see it myself. Jesus is so good to me.

Love, Mama

Happy Anniversary Amanda and Chris, we hope you have many happy years together.

Love your little brothers B.J. Wayne and Buck

Today is your nephew's 1st birthday. It would have been nice to see him on his birthday but some things just can't be. You boys go stay close to him and whisper in his ear just how much we all love him. Thank you...and I love you.

Love, Mama

Hey boys I just wanted to share something with you since it's mine and your Dad's anniversary. Love Mama

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I want to give a Heart Hug to the most wonderful man I know. His name is Bobby Outlaw and he has been my husband for 28 Years on Juli 24th. I don't know a stronger person than him. Twenty five years ago on Bobby's birthday (Juli 21st) our oldest son B.J. was diagnosed with kidney failure. Bobby was there for this young mom that was scared to death. Just 6 months later on Januari 26 1986 we lost our twin sons Wayne and Buck to an early birth. Bobby was there to comfort me even though his loss was as painful as mine. Again almost 9 years ago when our wonderful little boy Johnathan was placed in our lives through adoption. Bobby being the great Dad he is proved that the bonds of love that make a family doesn't require being flesh and blood. During these years he gave me three of the most wonderful and beautiful girls Amanda Kayla and Sarah that any mom would be proud of and I am. On Mei 6 2003 Bobby gave the very gift of life to our son B.J. when he gave him a kidney through kidney transplant. Bobby is a hero in my eyes. It was just a short 7 months later on Dec.12003 that the Lord called our son B.J. home to Heaven at the young age of 19 years. Our world turned upside down. Once again Bobby was there with love and comfort for me all the while suffering just as much as I was. Then on Sept.2 2006 our first born grandson Elijah was born 3 months premature and as we prayed and waited for his tiny body to grow and become stronge Bobby continued to give me the encouragement and hope I needed to trust that all would be well. I know fear must have gripped his heart as it did mine because we both knew what great loss is and knew no one is guaranteed not to suffer this kind of heartache and pain. There are so many more things we've been through together I couldn't possibly list them all here but I think I have shared enough to show what a great man I'm blessed with. Yes we've about made each other crazy more times than either of us want to admit and many times we've wondered if we were going to make it. But I know the Lord knew what He was doing when He brought us together and I'm so thankful he did.