Bobby Jack Outlaw II

Another year has come and gone and I miss you more than ever. I won't leave you behind no matter what anyone thinks I should do. You'll stay with me in my heart until I can be with you in Heaven.

Love, Mama

Merry Christmas Boys! Nothing is the same without you here. I love and miss you so much.

Love, Mama

Aww B.J. it's so hard to believe it's been 7 years already yet it seems like forever since I've seen you. I miss you so much. Not a day goes by that you don't stay on my mind. You may be out of sight for now but you will never leave my heart and mind. I'll hold you close always.

I went out to the cemetary by myself today. Buddy it's so sad and lonely out there. I'm so glad you're not really there. Heaven has to be wonderful and you deserve all it has to offer. I just wish all of us could be there with you. Johnathan didn't want to go out to the cemetary today. He said he wanted to wait until Saturday...that today was already too hard for him. Poor little guy. He loves and misses you so much.

Brother and Sister Mullins sent us a vase of flowers in memory of you. They are so pretty. The Mullins' always remember and we're so thankful. You sure loved them didn't you B.J.?

Buddy the beautiful graphic I'm putting here was made for you by Dianne...Mr Nicky's Mom. Isn't it beautiful? Tell him I said he just has such a wonderful Mom.

B.J. you know I love you. Please never forget that. And Buddy you just keep watching for us cause we will be there just as soon as Jesus says we can.

Love you forever and always, Mama

Well Buddy this was our 7th Thanksgiving with you not here. I did miss you being here...I always will. But we did enjoy spending the evening with Amanda. Her boys made me smile...I know that made you happy. I also know you and Wayne and Buck had a wonderful time with Jesus. I can't wait until we're all together.

Johnathan and I went out to the cemetary this morning. It was so sad and lonely feeling there. I told Johnathan and later Dad that I was so glad your aren't really there. That you're safe  and warm and happy in Heaven with Jesus. It gave me comfort knowing that. I'll always wish you were here with us but my heart has hope of being with you again someday...another comfort to your Mama's broken heart.

Happy Thanksgiving boys, I love you so much.

Love, Mama

The night before Thanksgiving 7 years ago is when you first got sick B.J. I remember you went and helped Sister Mullins make sure the lights at the Court House were all working because they would be turning them on that night. You didn't care that it was drizzling rain and cold...you were just happy to help as always.

Happy 9th Birthday Johnathan

November 22, 2010

We love you Johnathan!

..

We love you so much!

We hope you have a birthday that's just as special as you are to us.

Love, B.J., Wayne and Buck

Wishing our little sister Kayla a Happy 23rd Birthday. We'll love you forever Lala!

Love your big brothers, B.J., Wayne and Buck

We're wishing our little sister the happiest birthday ever because we know she deserves it. Happy Birthday Sarah Beth, we love you!

Love your big brothers, B.J., Wayne and Buck

Elijah started school on Sept.8 and this is how Amanda said his day began. He was taking his pjs off to get dressed and says "First day of school, here I come". Isn't he just the sweetest little guy? Oh how I wish you were here.

Love, Mama

Today is little Elijah's 4th birthday. Oh how I wish you were here. You would love that little guy so much...of course I know you do anyway. But still...I wish he could know you here. I know all three of you would have been great Uncles...just like your little brother is.

Love, Mama

I got the sweetest email from an internet friend of mine this morning. She told me that she thinks I'm an amazing woman and she wants to be just like me. I'm so humbled by it...and the tears have been falling since I read her words. No one has ever told me that and my heart is touched in such a way I can't explain it. I know my faults but I also know how much I love the Lord and how much I love people. It's my hearts desire to reach out to people with the love of Jesus and her words have shown me I must be doing something right even if I can't see it myself. Jesus is so good to me.

Love, Mama

Happy Anniversary Amanda and Chris, we hope you have many happy years together.

Love your little brothers B.J. Wayne and Buck

Today is your nephew's 1st birthday. It would have been nice to see him on his birthday but some things just can't be. You boys go stay close to him and whisper in his ear just how much we all love him. Thank you...and I love you.

Love, Mama

Hey boys I just wanted to share something with you since it's mine and your Dad's anniversary. Love Mama

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I want to give a Heart Hug to the most wonderful man I know. His name is Bobby Outlaw and he has been my husband for 28 Years on Juli 24th. I don't know a stronger person than him. Twenty five years ago on Bobby's birthday (Juli 21st) our oldest son B.J. was diagnosed with kidney failure. Bobby was there for this young mom that was scared to death. Just 6 months later on Januari 26 1986 we lost our twin sons Wayne and Buck to an early birth. Bobby was there to comfort me even though his loss was as painful as mine. Again almost 9 years ago when our wonderful little boy Johnathan was placed in our lives through adoption. Bobby being the great Dad he is proved that the bonds of love that make a family doesn't require being flesh and blood. During these years he gave me three of the most wonderful and beautiful girls Amanda Kayla and Sarah that any mom would be proud of and I am. On Mei 6 2003 Bobby gave the very gift of life to our son B.J. when he gave him a kidney through kidney transplant. Bobby is a hero in my eyes. It was just a short 7 months later on Dec.12003 that the Lord called our son B.J. home to Heaven at the young age of 19 years. Our world turned upside down. Once again Bobby was there with love and comfort for me all the while suffering just as much as I was. Then on Sept.2 2006 our first born grandson Elijah was born 3 months premature and as we prayed and waited for his tiny body to grow and become stronge Bobby continued to give me the encouragement and hope I needed to trust that all would be well. I know fear must have gripped his heart as it did mine because we both knew what great loss is and knew no one is guaranteed not to suffer this kind of heartache and pain. There are so many more things we've been through together I couldn't possibly list them all here but I think I have shared enough to show what a great man I'm blessed with. Yes we've about made each other crazy more times than either of us want to admit and many times we've wondered if we were going to make it. But I know the Lord knew what He was doing when He brought us together and I'm so thankful he did.

B.J. Brother and Sister Lingle is our new Pastor and Pastor's wife now. You know I love them both so much but letting Brother and Sister Mullins go is just breaking my heart.

Love, Mama

Love, B.J., Wayne and Buck

Simply Pray For Me

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Look at the sweet picture little Elijah sent us today. It was for Gee-maw and Paw-paw. Oh how I wish you were here to know him...he's such a good little guy. But I know you boys watch over him always and I'm glad.

Love, Mama

Wow Buddy it's hard to believe that 8 years ago is when we first met with Mary Ann to talk about your kidney transplant. I know there's no good in the what if's but I can't help it. I can't help but think what if we didn't go through with it? Would you still be here with us? My heart tells me no and yet it's my heart that still asks the question. I just miss you so much B.J. What I'd give if I could have you here with me but I don't want you to be sick so Mama will wait...

Love and miss you so much, Mama